Bold text and underlining added for emphasis, my comments are in brackets throughout this testimony :
Testimony of my Salvation (by Brenton Goin)
Where shall I begin. This was a VERY lengthy struggle for me.
When I was about 17 or 18, I remember laying in bed every night for about a week in fear for my life, knowing if I died that night, I was going to hell. I never said a word. I don’t know if I EVER said a word about it until now.
I remember when I was 19, I was sitting there at a Bible conference on the front row. I made a decision to believe the gospel and walked away believing I was saved. Little I realize then, I had believed in vain. (Me : There are many of these people today who profess to be Right Dividers who later state that they weren’t saved just by believing 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 – it’s known as UNBELIEF). Until I was 31, I did absolutely nothing regarding studying my Bible.(Me : Carnal Christian – count the years between 19 and 31 without any spiritual growth) When I was 31, I met my current wife, Shelley. I knew certain things about salvation (Me : Please note, he doesn’t say he knew and believed the gospel, he says he KNEW CERTAIN things about salvation – words mean something, so did this man initially actually believe the Gospel that saves his never-dying soul?) and I knew these were things she also needed to know. They were important to me. So, I begin to go to class here and there and study a little (Me : Makes you wonder where he went to class and who he studied under?), because i wanted Shelley to know these things. I suppose I loved her (Me : If a man ever said he “supposed he loved me” I wouldn’t marry him – I guess that’s the difference between me and them – why settle for supposed love? I am shocked) and wanted her to have the security that I had, or so I thought. (Me : Please not how his unbelief “shines” through).
We got married in April ’08. Some time shortly after that in Jan ’09, I joined the Facebook community. Shortly after that, i started a group on Facebook called Grace Believer’s Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth.(Me : He’s in total unbelief, is carnal and yet starts a Facebook Group – that’s a huge problem in itself) I added all my Facebook friends to the group. I taught many truths that I had learned over the years. (Me : What truths would those be, especially in light of not having opened a Bible for 12 years) I attended a class here in Mobile taught by a man named Percy Peters. I remember having some trouble dealing with my salvation at that time. (Me : unbelief again) One day at class, Percy was talking about the rapture. He said in no uncertain terms that there was someone in the room who was afraid of that day. (Me : A “prophesying” Right Divider perhaps?) I was that man who was afraid of that day. I believed I was “saved”, but was scared to death of that day. I felt like Percy had put me under a heat lamp. I was absolutely petrified. I left that day from the class having never said a word about it.
I had begun to study more and more. I remember bringing up Romans 10:9-10 up to Percy one day. We had a disagreement about it. I walked away that day and decided not to come back for a while. When I did come back, it was because I changed my mind about our disagreement.
I remember sitting here at this very desk studying and studying, because I was REALLY beginning to struggle with my salvation. I was feeling convicted and knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. I remember going to bed with my wife and told her about how afraid I was. I held her that night and cried myself to sleep.
On the way home from work one day, I decided to stop by Percy’s house. He lives right down the road from me. I didn’t tell my wife I was stopping, because I didn’t want her to know WHY I was stopping. I felt like “what kind of husband am I to have this fear”? I told Percy about my trouble. He asked me if I believed what Christ did for me. I told him yes. He asked me what’s the problem. I told him that I didn’t know. He asked me again if I believed that Christ had died for my sins and rose again. I told him yes and he replied that I just needed to trust the Lord. I just kinda sat there, not knowing what to say. In my mind, I just kept struggling, not knowing what to do. (Me : unbelief) Percy prayed with me before I left his house. He prayed that the Lord stay on me about this until it was settled. (Me : Now how does the Lord stay on a man that is in rank unbelief and who needs to FEEL SAVED? Either you believe or you don’t).
For about a month, the Lord wouldn’t let up. (Me : Makes one wonder how the Lord wouldn’t let up, since God speaks only to us today through the Bible rightly divided and not through feelings, emotions and *words in the spirit or ears* hummm……) I had never known conviction like that. I was really afraid. I would go to work pondering over this. I remember sitting in the truck I drive for a living. I backed up to a loading dock and sat there for a minute. I remember being in prayer to God. It went something like this.”Lord, I know you died for my sins and rose again. So, here I go, I’m gonna trust you now. (Me : Makes one wonder why he couldn’t do that in the first instance?) Ready? Okay then. I trusted you. I think I had that conversation with the Lord about 2 or 3 weeks straight every day, yet everyday, I would wake up and know I wasn’t saved. WHY!?!? I TRUSTED YOU LORD! WHY WON’T YOU SAVE ME?!?!? (Me : Can it be that difficult just to believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again on the 3rd day? Yes, and if you trust the Lord and He doesn’t save you……… think about it………).
I hadn’t realized at that time that I was trusting Him in the manner you trust the bottom layer of cards in a house of cards when you lay the top card on top. (Me : Silly me, and all the time I thought that trust was trust, I didn’t realise there were more than one form of trust…… are you kidding me?) Okay, I’m trusting you now, okay? Ready? okay, I’m trusting you now. Okay? Lord? You ready? I’m fixing to trust you. Okay, I’m trusting you now. Okay. It’s done. I trusted you. Whew! That was a lot of work. (Me : And yet we aren’t saved by works….. nor do our feelings confirm our judicial standing with Almighty God).
That lasted about 6 months. I couldn’t figure out why I began to be convicted. I wanted a testimony of salvation though and I wanted people to know I was saved. So, I made plans to attend a Bible conference in Guntersville, Alabama. (Me : Whoops…… yeah, say no more……) Jack Lockhart was hosting and there were preachers from all over the South there. I told Bro Jack that if he needed me to stand up and give my testimony, (Me : And this man doesn’t even believe and he wants to give his testimony – to convince who? Himself or God? )I would. He said okay, and Sunday morning, I stood up and spoke alot of truth. (Me : not the truth, but a lot of truth. Meaning that some of which he spoke wasn’t the truth…).. and one lie. (Me : Well there you go…) As I finished up my testimony, I told 300 people I had trusted the Lord that day that I was in the truck backed up to that loading dock. I lied. I wanted a testimony (Me : He wanted a testimony more than being saved……. That kinda says a lot here) and wanted other people to know it. What a load of crap! I’m sorry to those who heard me speak it.
I began to be convicted again, (Me : His unbelief was getting to him) which didn’t make sense to me, because a just man cannot be convicted. I knew the message. I knew the doctrines. I knew the men who taught the doctrines. But I didn’t know the Man who saved the men who taught the doctrines. CRAP! (Me : And this is where he adds to the Gospel so he can believe it – his line of thinking : one has to know Jesus Christ apart from believing His death for your sins, His burial and resurrection on the 3rd day…….)
I think I mentioned earlier I drive for a living. My family had a scrap yard at the time. I also work for a scrap yard and my family’s scrap yard was a customer of mine. So, I would go pick up loads of scrap once ever 1-2 weeks. I remember driving home one night. I had been dealing with this conviction for quite a while now. My family’s scrap yard is in Samson, Alabama. I was traveling on highway 84 after I had driven through Andalusia on a two lane highway. It was about 8pm, and I was struggling with this. I knew if I died, I was damned. I didn’t know what to do. I had spoken to Percy. I had spoken to my wife. I had TRIED so hard to trust the Lord. (Me : He couldn’t trust the Lord Jesus Christ on His terms) And for all I struggled, I got nothing. So, I took my thoughts to the Lord. (Me : When in fact the Apostle Paul tells us to crucify those thoughts and not to entertain them)
WHAT?!? Talk to the Lord about it? What a novel idea! (Me: Seriously, this guy is a hoot – it’s called prayer and the Apostle Paul mentions it, it’s not a novel idea… Get real, Brenton)
I remember my conversation with the Lord sounded very unlearned, as though a 4 year old were speaking to their father about life. I said a lot of things that in hind-site sounded really strange. (Me : I can believe it) I remember saying “I don’t know if you’re listening or not”. I spoke on anyway. I was damned anyway. If he wasn’t listening, then nothing was changed anyway. So, I prayed anyway knowing that he had to be listening in spite of my own vain thoughts. I told the Lord that I don’t know much. I knew I was a sinner and had no hope. I thanked him for saving me by his own death and resurrection….. and BAMMMMMMMMM! I was saved! (Me : Does it state in the Gospel that we are to thank God for saving us when in fact He did so almost 2000 years ago and all we really need to do is believe. Does thanking Him make you saved? Does knowing him save your never-dying soul?) And this time, I KNEW IT! I was so overwhelmed with joy, I cried for 20 minutes going down the highway. (Me : Salvation by emotion and adding to the Gospel) I remember singing something for like the next hour…. over and over, the same lyrics, (Me : A touch of the old Pentecostalism perhaps?) don’t remember what song it was. I was bouncing up and down in the seat, singing and just had never known the joy I knew that night.
I was bouncing off the walls! And who wouldn’t? (Me : One is only saved when one feels one is saved, otherwise one isn’t saved – is that their philosophy? Strange how one cannot bring oneself to believe the Gospel given to the Apostle Paul by the ascended Christ, but one can easily believe a gospel one makes up.
It’s downright shocking. Makes one wonder how people are actually saved out there today.
In all seriousness, unbelief is no laughing matter and neither is believing another gospel, yet when you tell people what they believe doesn’t correlate to what the Bible speaks of dispensationally considered, they want to discuss it with you and prove themselves right. I am not one for huge debates where the other party tries to convince you they are right irrespective of what Pauline doctrine in context states.
Paul clearly states in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 what the gospel is and says that if one believes it, one is saved. It’s simple really. God did not make salvation complicated or difficult. If Christ died for your sins, it means you’re a sinner, but whether you believe it or not is an entirely other story. Most men today do not believe they are totally debased spiritually, and cannot stand before a righteous God, therefore they cannot bring themselves to believe that they are in dire need of a Saviour because their pride takes preference above all else.
If someone were to point out to me the obvious concerning my salvation testimony, I would consider their comments according to the Grace Gospel of 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, because it is no small matter when one takes into cognisance the eternal consequences of not believing the correct gospel.