Ramblings of a lost person who became reconciled to God

The vast majority of people out there are under the wrong impression that laymen are unable to, cannot understand the Bible. (When I say Bible anywhere on this blog, I am referring to the Authorized King James Bible, not any of those pathetic devil inspired books posing as Bibles which go by the names of NIV “Bible”, Amplified “Bible” New King James “Bible”, etc).

But 2 Timothy 2:15 is the key to opening your Bible and understanding it, so laymen like you and me CAN understand the Bible.

There is only ONE Bible, the Authorized King James Bible and I don’t care if you agree with me or not.

The vast majority of people who erroneously label themselves “Christian”, or even those who are dyed-in-the-wool unbelievers are under the impression one needs a Pastor/Preacher/Pope to discern the meaning of scripture because they are (a) specially chose of God to tell the idiots what God says in the Bible, because (b) same idiots cannot make head or tail of the Bible, no matter how hard they try – they have to be told : “this is the meaning”, yet 99.99999% of the time it’s ripped totally out of context, nor is it applicable to anyone living today. Most don’t/can’t/won’t/refuse (to) discern between Israel and the Body of Christ, neither do they discern between prophecy and mystery. The mystery to them is exactly that – a mystery.

I remember being on a Pentecostal forum (actually a few Pentecostal forums) prior to 2008 and reading the inanity posted about the so-called “out of churchers (OOCs)” – those who left their denominational churches because they could see the error of the fake signs and wonders of Charismania – people barking like dogs, slithering around like snakes, pushing/smacking people when “laying hands on them” and injuring them or fleecing them out of their inheritance/assets/money, blah-blah-blah, so they took on a milder form of Pentecostalism/Charismania because it was “pleasing to God” and held their Sunday and Bible Study services from home. I was wrong too at that time, in fact, I was in blatant error, but I wasn’t an OOC like them, I was an OOC because I was a Cessationist (as they labeled me), which freaked them out totally because they used to rebuke me a lot and/or delete my posts, so I used to return incognito – under a new identity lol, but they soon knew it was me, because there was only one Cessationist – and that was me. I used to use fake IP addresses in those days.

There was a Charismatic, Andrew (cannot remember his surname), a New Zealander who posted all these “prophecies” on his website, like the world was coming to an end, that people had better fall in line (repent), otherwise America would be finished – finito – klaar, because she had become too liberal and perverted, blah-blah-blah-blah (somehow they forgot totally about Europe and the rest of the world) – his prophecies (so-called) used to freak most people out, but I used to get on there and totally rip them apart because they didn’t even fall in line with Hebrew doctrine (which I had studied a bit and believed totally at the time to be written to me – yep, I was an “endure to the end-you can lose your salvation” wannabe “new Jew” – after all, I had read it in Paul’s epistles lol, “grafted in”. I really used to love it when he (Andrew) set dates to his “prophecies” – so when they didn’t happen as I knew they would, then I would really gloat, then he’d place a temporary ban on me and I couldn’t post for a few weeks. That really used to annoy me, so I invented various other identities from computers at Internet Cafes.

You might say I was “obsessed” with getting to know the truth back then, I basically was always thinking about getting to understand the Bible, everything else was secondary. I used to spend weekends studying my Bible for hours on end, most of Saturday afternoon and evening and almost entire Sundays, but not rightly divided – which meant diddly squat.

The reality was, I never fitted in with any group/denomination or any teachings out there, unlike most who fell in line like sheep. I avoided churches like the plague because I knew they didn’t have the truth, but I didn’t know what the truth was myself – yet. Everyone who claimed to be a Christian and who I encountered on the internet at that time thought they were perfect and on the road to Nirvana, that they had “almost arrived” – just a few more repentances of those dastardly deeds and sins and God would bless them abundantly and they could easily explain themselves into heaven, when on the other hand, I knew I was no good, I just wasn’t good at behaving like an angel, I tried, but I couldn’t keep up pretenses for too long, which made me wonder how they managed to do it for years on end.

I have always been forthright – called a spade a spade, or perhaps to be exact, I would rather say I call a spade a shovel. It has always fascinated me how pretentious most people can be – they have two personas, or perhaps even more – one for their family, one for strangers, one for those they despise or look down on, then there’s the Facebook (Fakebook) persona, the husband/wife/boyfriend/lover persona, the children persona, the doctor/dentist/person in authority persona. You name it – they have a (tone of) voice and body language for different people they converse or associate with. Now to me that’s too much hard work. My logic and belief is : Just be who you are – if they don’t like you – tough, and if they like you, it’s great, if you offend them, that’s just par for the course, if they cannot handle you, they’re weak, if they are bunny huggers, yawn and move on. You cannot please all of the people all the time – fact of life, besides, life isn’t a popularity contest.

When I was a child I could never comprehend how come my mother was sweet and sociable when she was face-to-face with friends or acquaintaces, but behind their backs she didn’t have very nice things to say about (some of) them, in my naivity and innocence I couldn’t grasp it. It left me totally puzzled. That was my first encounter with the seedier side of human nature. How to backstab and be two-faced in 1 easy step – be a human being, especially a lost one, it comes naturally. You know where the Apostle Paul says you judge another, but do exactly the same things?

So there I was, armed with Israel’s Old Covenant which I could easily match up to doctrine in the New Covenant – because I studied it. One minute I believed in the catching away (rapture), the next minute I didn’t. When I went onto the Rapture Ready forum – they convinced me of the rapture, when I stayed away, I started enduring to the end lol. I was severely reprimanded by the Admin of the Rapture Ready forum for being a Cessationist – they believed Israel’s signs and wonders were still in effect today. I was told that if I didn’t cease from being a Cessationist and posting about it, they’d ban me permanently, so I left after the umpteenth time of being rebuked for my beliefs.

Did I ever go to Paul’s epistles? Hardly, because I couldn’t match his doctrine up to the Old or New Testaments, but I didn’t care much about it at that time. I was ready to endure to the end during the tribulation which I thought would be soon, but the thought of having my head chopped off for my beliefs didn’t sit well with me, I would probably have become a turncoat – turned yellow around the gills and renounced my faith. The same applies to the wannabe endurers of today because they cannot handle suffering – they just want to be blessed, blessed, blessed, “praise the lawd, he’s going to rain down his blessing on me because I’m praising his name”. Seriously? You can control and manipulate God that easily – only praise him when you need something? It’s called using someone, and in this case it’s Almighty God, and you think he is that stupid not to notice?

Then I had the “honour” of meeting up with a so-called missionary (Australian) who was based in India. He was affiliated to the Assemblies of God. He was and still is one of the most self-righteous religionists I’ve ever encountered in my life. He believes a person isn’t saved if you aren’t yabba-dabba-dooing like Scooby Doo, or falling to the ground, “slain in the spirit” and filled with the “Holy Ghost”. Some really questionable woman Pentecostal “preacher” laid hands on him in order for him to be “saved”. It makes you want to head for the hills. I find his testimony absolutely creepy. I’ve watched enough of Branham’s videos and read enough of his books to be creeped out. He thinks Branham was a true prophet of God and that the early founders of Pentecostalism had it right.  Branham apparently had Gabriel the angel appear before him and tell him what to do.  In this current dispensation you can put one and one together concerning Gabriel.

He believes that if you do not repent of your sins and change your lifestyle, you cannot be saved. He believes those who do not preach the repentance of sins are false teachers – “prophets”, and because he preaches repentance of sins and a sedate, decent lifestyle, he reckons himself chosen of God. To him, the Bible is a “story” whereby you learn to be like Noah, Abraham, Joshua, etc.

I decided that if that if this people were wrong and I was wrong, because none of us could discern why certain differences existed in the Bible, and all of them denied the differences existed, thereafter to try each and every denomination out there to see who could answer my questions. So I became a Hebrew Roots Movement adherent. So. There I was trying to keep the Levitical Law lol. I gave up bacon as that’s the only pork I ate, and like an ignorant Gentile, I didn’t know that it encompassed not eating dairy and animal flesh together. I worked on Saturday, but I justified that by saying that it was my version of “getting the cow out of the ditch” – had to be done, therefore justified and not breaking the law. See how wannabe law keepers try and fool themselves? Then when I got home from work on Saturday I was hungry so I had to prepare lunch – oops. I looked out the kitchen window and was reminded that a small branch from a tree had to be sawn off – oops. I did both and went to lie on my bed – finally my Sabbath rest lol. Yeah, really – who was I trying to fool – but next Saturday I would do better, I’d prepare my food on Friday night – Friday night came, I was dog tired after work, instead I went and sat outside on the porch and watched the sunset and had an ice cold beer lol (and a cigarette lol). Then I went and watched TV, showered and went to bed.

It goes without saying that I drove myself nuts trying to “keep the law”. I gave it up soon afterwards though when I requested fellowship from other Hebrew Roots adherents and all I got was an icy cold silence to my email. That’s when my ire kicked in and I basically “saluted them” farewell and thought to myself what they could do with their movement – shove it where the sun don’t shine, after all, you’d think they’d be a happy lot, happy to help a fellow believer, but obviously not. Then I went on to become an Independent Fundamental Baptist – they were Cessationists like me. At least they knew the doctrines of imputation, justification and sanctification in the book of Romans – viola! I learnt something new at last, but their gospel was “believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved”.

Okay, so I believed Jesus existed, and that He was the Son of God, they also taught me that the rapture was a fact – okay, I believed that too and was struck by the total audacity of God’s mercy, that He will actually take people off this planet before His wrath is implemented worldwide.

It’s through my need to know more about Biblical doctrine through a King James Bible that I happened upon a website (fundamentally Baptist) but contained certain articles on Right Division – comparisons on the differences in the Bible, as well as the gospel of 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 That was the first time in my life I could see the differences for what they were, and the gospel as well astounded me – I had to read it twice because I was in awe, I had never heard it before, but I believed it instanstaneously – it was that day I realised the vastness of God’s mercy, and I shook my head that something so simple, so plain could be ignored and not be preached by the majority who call themselves Christians. It was the day I knew I was saved.

All through the years I happened upon Mid-Acts Pauline Right Division but ignored it as it came with the title/label of “hyper-dispensationalism”, and so I thought it was error. Those who give Pauline nomenclature a bad name because of their ignorance or unbelief actually turn people away from God’s truth.

I knew then I was rid of the control of church pastors, elders, pew warmers, rid of rituals, rid of works in order to please God and be saved, rid of all the guilt, the judgment of being called lost, rid of the fear of landing up in hell, rid of caring what people thought of me because now I was a child of God, rid of the mess of what churchianity believes, but alas, never rid of the preaching the gospel to the lost in order to get them saved. What bothers me still, and I will never be rid of it until the day I die, is the fact that some people will just never believe, no matter how hard you try to espouse the truth of God’s word rightly divided, they are permanently blinded and don’t believe you because you’re either (a) a woman, (b) didn’t attend Bible College, or (c) you “throw 95% of the Bible away”.

Believing the gospel costs nothing, but is priceless at the same time.


7 thoughts on “Ramblings of a lost person who became reconciled to God

  1. Thanks Randy. Those were crazy years. I am an extremely determined person – I wouldn’t have given up until I understood the Bible. My question was always this : Why did God give us a book if no-one could understand it? That’s not merciful and my understanding in those days was that God was merciful in that He wanted Men to be saved.

    Anyway, haven’t been feeling all that great recently, have a dull pain beneath my shoulders and I am still getting Cellulitis continuously. Just finished a hectic course of antibiotics on Saturday – 1500 grams for 10 days. They tested me for diabetes and HIV, both of which suppress the immune system – both came out negative, so it has to be something else.


  2. Randy says:

    Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well! That’s a bummer..I hope the docs can figure it out so you can get back to your old self!


  3. It’s actually 1500mg not 1500 grams of penicillin. I’m not pinning my hopes on them finding out what is causing the problem. It just goes to show though that a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean anything – we all die in the end, most get sick too. Joggers and cyclists collapse and die from heart-attacks too. The flesh is rotten, it’s no use pinning one’s hopes on it.


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