“I’m lonely” Read : I need a “soul-mate” (whatever that means)
“I’m poor” Read : I need someone to help me, my job doesn’t pay enough
“My house is in a mess, the dishes are stacked up to the ceiling” Read : I need someone to clean up after me.
“I can’t take care of my children by myself” Read : My kids are undisciplined brats and I cannot control them
People get married for all the wrong reasons.
Whatever happened to, “I love you”.
I want to marry you because I love you. Not just because you’re good looking, a good cook, a good baker, a good mother – because I love you, faults and all.
I’ve noticed there is no such thing today. People get married for what they can get out of the “deal”, and when the “deal” doesn’t live up to their expectations, “better or for worse” doesn’t count anymore (like it ever did).
For the ignorant amongst us, of course you can love someone who is a good cook, good mother and good housekeeper too – that way you obviously have “hit the jackpot” so to speak. Just thought I’d make that clear (wink).
In my pre-saved days I happened across many a man who was only clearly looking for “financial backing”. Men who don’t work, who said they resigned from their jobs because “things went a tad awry concerning their working relationship with their boss”, men who want to make their problem, your problem. Men who still aren’t over their wives/girlfriends and have children they cannot support. Men who want to get married and “support” you emotionally, meanwhile, back at the ranch they are emotional cripples themselves. Violent men who lose their tempers over inconsequential things. Men who cannot pick up their own dirty socks, men who don’t know a spark plug from a piston, whose only answer to your laments are, “it will all come right” whilst quaffing beer and watching sport on TV.
Since men are supposed to be the emotionally stronger of the two sexes, it goes without saying they are heavily scrutinised by yours truly. No one man will have it as easy as saying, “Hi beautiful” to be in my good books. Besides, I find that terribly shallow. “Hi beautiful” doesn’t do it for me. I’m not a maroon, therefore do not insult my intelligence with monosyllables, because after 5 years “Hi beautiful” will mean absolutely nothing.
It’s just become so obvious to me how shallow people are – or become of late. I always wonder HOW someone can spend a lifetime with a total idiot. Surely their total inanity should/would get to you sooner or later? My one, and major prerequisite is INTELLIGENCE. Not HOW to TRY and have an intelligent conversation, but TO HAVE an intelligent conversation with someone I am married to (for life). But I guess if you’re both inane, then it obviously doesn’t matter. (Just thought I’d say that).
Imagine living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed as someone who continually says, “LORD bless!” It would drive me insane. I’d be climbing the walls non-stop. I’d be permanently gnashing my teeth, and I’m not even bound for the lake of fire (wink).
Imagine living with a woman who can’t clean up the house? I’d become certifiable if I was a man living with an untidy woman.
Strange how people marry for the wrong reasons. They think they love someone, but they don’t, it’s like getting married because you have a temporary crush on someone, then you marry them…….. and it’s kinda permanent, then you see to it that you don’t spend much time at home. From the frying pan, into the fire.
For better or for worse – that’s why I would make really sure I won’t be permanently exasperated or climbing the walls just because “I love” someone.
When the physical side of marriage takes a back seat and you have to speak to one another, will you be able to? Will you be able to overlook the other person’s faults? Would you want to change them? (the person, that is). Or would you want to pull your hair out of your head because you married a total maroon?
That is why the Apostle Paul said men are to love their wives as themselves – there’s no other way marriage will work, including the fact that wives have to submit to their husbands, so if he keeps on saying, “Lord bless!” and you cannot submit to him because he is an idiot – solution : don’t marry him.